I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
