Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
