he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
