dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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