Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
