I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
