I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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