sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
