how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
