Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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