So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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