I'm gonna have a badass scar
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You are the jesus of drinking
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
