If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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