So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
