yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
