my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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