So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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