if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?