the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
