Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
