It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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