Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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