You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
