Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
