You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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