well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
