stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He keeps bees of course he's weird
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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