either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
