I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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