i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize