I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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