why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
