; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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