Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
