If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
