Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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