i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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