how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
