I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
