I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
