Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
