honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
