Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
