People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
