remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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