This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
