She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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