I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
