I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
