3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
