So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
