The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i will never coherently bang her
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
