I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
