what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
