it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
