best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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