Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
