He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize