he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i think i have two assholes
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
