her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Welp...herpes.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
