problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
