A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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