so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
