I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
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