at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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