and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize